What is wrong?

Relationships - they’re pretty darn tricky. Agree? Yea, you do.

NOW. I can’t support my argument based on first hand experience. I’ve been in three relationships - Relationship 1 - the guy was a bit too posessive… ended swiftly. Relationship 2 - four days long. see above. Relationship 3 - Lasted for three years, nothing to complain about, ended mutually. So clearly, I’ve never really had a bad relationship. And therefore I cannot offer advice on a primary account. But I can share my opinions based on the observations of friends. Let me begin by saying this:

  • MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Ohhh she’s some feminist who is going to give us crap about how men think they’re superior”. Well, you’re half right. Lets start from the Feminist viewpoint.

Feminisim

Okay. So. Women don’t want their men to be controlling. They want to be independent. They cringe at jokes such as, “A man is driving and he hits a woman - whose fault is it? - The mans fault - He shouldn’t have been driving in the kitchen!” (personally I laughed my ass off). But either way, women hate being oppressed. They regret the stigma of housewife.

So, in a relationship, many women look for the stupid guys. They look for the ones who will tend to their every whim. They look for the guys who will be their puppies, absent mindedly following them around, never getting the balls to break it off. In the words of my close friend, “No no no, this is YOUR relationship. Take charge. Be a woman”. Classy, no?

Male-ism

Alright. Men have this predetermined notion that they are the rulers. They’re masculine. They make the money. They protect the feeble women. They support everyone and everything. They are the dominating figures. They make the jokes like the one above. Great.

So, in a relationship, many times men can be controlling. They may think they’re smarter than their partner, they may think that they work harder than their partner, they may even patronize their partner.

What I need you to know.

Both -isms are complete and total bullshit. A relationship is not about one person succumbing to another, and its not about one person dominating another. Its about equality. Both partners, man and women (or whatever), should have a say in everything. If a woman wants to work, let her! If the man wants to stay home, let him! I just feel appalled when I hear my girl friends talk about how they need to control their man, and I feel appalled when I hear my guy friends talk about how they treat women like objects.

Can’t we as women see how we’re being hypocrites? We ask men to respect us, value us, treat us like princesses. When at the same time, we disrespect men, we don’t value them as people - just as titles, and we treat them like crap.

Can’t men, however, see that they need to support their women in all of her decisions? They need to know that women can stay home and be moms, they can go out and be career women, and they can defy the sexist jokes.

Equality may be the most valuable asset to any lasting relationship.

()